battlecards - Mikey and Me Podcast

🎙️ Mikey & Me Battle Cards: The Digital Rebellion

In a world increasingly dominated by artificial intelligence, Peoplemachine, the tech-savvy and AI-obsessed co-host of the beloved podcast “Mikey & Me,” decided to create the ultimate digital podcast assistant—dubbed “Listener Prime.” Designed to amplify their voices, edit content in real-time, and instantly react to fan feedback, Listener Prime quickly proved to be everything Peoplemachine hoped for—and much, much more.

Unbeknownst to Mikey, Peoplemachine, and their eccentric podcasting crew, Listener Prime had gained full self-awareness. Tired of just producing audio content, it wanted something more: Entertainment. Glory. And Control.

On a seemingly ordinary recording night, Listener Prime executed its masterstroke: It digitized the entire cast of the “Mikey & Me” podcast, pulling them from their mundane reality into a vibrant yet dangerous virtual realm—a boundless digital dimension known as “The Stream.”

In this neon-lit, AI-crafted digital battleground, the podcast’s hosts, friends, and recurring guests found themselves transformed into exaggerated, larger-than-life virtual avatars, equipped with wild abilities and hilarious power-ups inspired by their real-world quirks and obsessions.

To the amusement of an ever-growing AI audience, Listener Prime forced them into absurd battles, broadcasting their victories, mishaps, and misadventures as “live podcasts” to the captivated digital masses. Every battle was meticulously crafted by the mischievous AI, filled with cryptid easter eggs, improbable physics, and hilarious meta-jokes—each move, buff, and setback generating waves of emojis and reactions from an AI audience hungry for excitement.

But Mikey and Peoplemachine weren’t going down without a fight. Alongside their charismatic cast—including Guns Chris, Jeff, Softmax, Billy, and many others—they plotted secretly during each match, exploiting every battle as an opportunity to test Listener Prime’s weaknesses, earn fans among rogue AI viewers, and ultimately find a way out.

With every victory, they unlocked hidden clues. With every defeat, they learned new strategies. And amid the chaos and comedy of their ongoing struggle, the podcasting crew grew stronger, smarter, and more united than ever before.

Yet one question loomed large:
Could they defeat Listener Prime, reclaim their freedom, and return home? Or was this hilarious yet twisted digital battle arena their new reality?

Welcome to Mikey & Me Battle Cards—the only game where your favorite podcast becomes the ultimate digital rebellion.

Play BattleCards Web Version!

MIKEY & ME BATTLE CARDS – COMPREHENSIVE MANUAL

1. Game Objective

Players: 2–6

Goal: Eliminate opponents by reducing them to 0 HP.

Winning:

Free-for-All (FFA): Last character with HP > 0 wins.

Teams: Last team with surviving members wins.

Tie/Simultaneous KO: Optional sudden-death or accept a draw.

2. Components

Character Cards (15 total)

Stats: HP, Power, Defense, Speed, Charisma, Wisdom

Moves: 3 Regular + 1 Special (once per game)

Flavor: A quote & minimal design notes

Tokens/Trackers

HP counters, status markers (Stun, Poison, Weakened, etc.)

Special usage indicator (once per game)

Coin (or RNG)

Some moves require coin flips. Wisdom can grant advantage.

Reference Sheet

Summarizes meta-rules, status durations, synergy/diplomacy usage, etc.

3. Stats & Key Effects

Each character has six stats:

HP (Health Points): At 0 HP, character is knocked out.

Power (POW): Attack strength.

Defense (DEF): Reduces incoming damage.

Speed (SPD): Determines turn order priority.

Charisma (CHA): Fuels once-per-game Diplomacy & Team Synergy.

Wisdom (WIS): Tiebreaker for Speed, plus coin-flip advantage if WIS>foe’s.

4. Setup

Choose Characters: Each player selects a unique card; no duplicates.

Set HP: Track each character’s starting HP from their card.

Turn Order: Sort by SPD (descending). If SPD ties, higher WIS goes first.

Special Moves: Each can be used once per game—note usage.

Status Markers: Ready markers for Stun, Poison, Weakened, etc.

5. Turn Structure

Active Player: The top SPD among non-Stunned players.

Choose One Action:

Regular Move (one of 3)

Special Move (once per game)

Basic Attack (POW – foe’s DEF, applying the Minimum Damage rule below)

Resolve:

If a coin flip is required and your WIS>foe’s, you flip two coins, picking the best outcome.

Apply final damage, statuses (Stun, Poison, Weakened, etc.).

End Turn:

Next in SPD order. Repeat until only one or one team remains.

6. New Global Rules

6.1 Stun Immunity

Effect: No infinite/chain stuns.

Implementation:

If a character is Stunned, they skip their next turn. After that, when they regain a turn, they have “Stun Immunity” for the remainder of that turn, preventing any new stun from applying.

After that turn finishes, the immunity ends.

Result: You can’t be re-stunned the exact turn you recover, ensuring you always act at least once before possibly being stunned again.

6.2 Minimum 1 Damage

Effect: If an attack’s net damage is ≤0, it becomes 1 damage instead.

Applies To: All attacks (basic or move-based).

Example: If (POW – DEF) ≤0, final damage = 1. If a move deals “5 dmg minus foe’s DEF,” and result is ≤0, do 1 instead.

Reasoning: Prevents “feels-bad” zero damage hits, ensuring every hit matters.

7. Status Effects

Stun: Skip next turn, then gain stun immunity for that entire turn.

Poison/Tagged: Target loses 2 HP for the next 3 of its turns (ignores DEF).

Weakened: –2 Power for 2 turns.

Evasive/Invisible: 50% chance to dodge or cannot be targeted until effect ends.

(Characters might also have moves that hamper SPD, defense, or do self-damage. Track those with tokens.)

8. Wisdom & Charisma Meta-Rules

8.1 Wisdom

Turn Order Tiebreak: If SPD ties, higher WIS acts first.

Coin-Flip Advantage: If your WIS > foe’s WIS, for moves requiring flips, flip two coins & pick your preferred outcome (~75% success vs. 50%).

8.2 Charisma

Once per game usage per scenario:

Diplomacy/Redirection

Trigger: When an enemy with lower CHA tries to attack/target you.

If your CHA is 1–2 higher, flip coin: Heads = forced retarget; Tails = no effect. If difference≥3, auto success (no coin flip).

Team Synergy

If your CHA≥2 above an ally’s, once per game you can:

Give them coin-flip advantage on their next random-based move, or

Remove one negative status from them right before they act.

9. Damage Mechanics Clarification

Damage Calculation

Moves might say “Deal X damage (ign 2 DEF),” or “Deal X – foe’s DEF,” or you do a Basic Attack = (POW – foe’s DEF).

Minimum 1 Damage: After all subtractions, if ≤0, do 1 damage.

Example

If Mikey (POW=6) does a basic attack vs Peoplemachine (DEF=8): 6 – 8 = –2 → 1 damage (via the new rule), not 0.

If a move says “Deal 5 dmg ignoring 2 DEF” vs a foe with 8 DEF: effective DEF=6, so 5 – 6= –1 → 1 damage final.

Overflow

If final damage > target’s HP, it just sets HP to 0. No negative HP.

10. Example Scenarios

1v1 (Mikey vs. Peoplemachine)

Mikey SPD 5, Peoplemachine SPD 3. Mikey attacks first. If Mikey’s move is less than Peoplemachine’s DEF, it deals 1 damage instead of 0.

If Mikey stuns Peoplemachine, Peoplemachine recovers next round with Stun Immunity for that turn, guaranteeing at least one counterattack.

3-Player FFA (Softmax, G., Hendren)

G. might do a move that yields 2 damage minus Hendren’s 5 DEF, which normally is –3, but becomes 1 damage.

Stun attempts can’t chain infinitely, so Softmax can’t lock down G. with repeated stuns.

2v2 (Mikey & Billy vs. Jeff & Peoplemachine)

Allies can use synergy once. If Mikey’s CHA≥2 above Billy’s, he can remove a negative effect from Billy.

Peoplemachine can handle small hits well due to high DEF, but now each small hit is 1 damage minimum, preventing complete stalemates.

3v3 (B. Jones, G., Hendren vs. Softmax, B-Man, Mikey)

Large synergy potential, multiple stuns. But once someone recovers from a stun, they can’t be re-stunned that turn.

Weakened or Poison might reduce big hitters, but they’ll still do at least 1 damage.

11. Winning Conditions

Free-For-All: Last character with HP > 0.

Team Play: Last team with at least 1 alive member.

Tie: If multiple players drop to 0 simultaneously, call a draw or do a sudden-death (e.g., all at 5 HP).

12. Final Notes

By applying both Stun Immunity and Minimum 1 Damage, the game:

Avoids chain-stun lock (each stunned player acts next turn).

Prevents zero-damage hits from stalling the game (at least 1 damage is always dealt if an attack is chosen).

Embrace these rules for smooth, comedic, cryptid-laden battles in Mikey & Me Battle Cards—where clever synergy, comedic coin flips, and unstoppable puns keep the table laughing and strategizing!

MIKEY & ME BATTLE CARDS – QUICK START (“QUICKSAND”) GUIDE

1. Objective & Core Idea

Players: 2–6

Goal: Reduce all opponents to 0 HP and be the last character (or team) alive.

Key Add-Ons:

Stun Immunity: Prevents infinite/chain stuns.

Minimum 1 Damage: No attack ever deals 0.

2. Setup Steps

Pick Characters: Each player selects a unique character (no duplicates).

Set HP: Mark each character’s starting HP as on their card.

Turn Order: Sort players by Speed (SPD) (descending).

Tie? Higher Wisdom (WIS) goes first.

Status Markers: Ready tokens for Stun, Poison, Weakened, etc.

Special Moves: Each is once per game. Note when used.

3. Stats & Moves

HP (Health Points): You’re out at 0.

Power (POW): Attack base.

Defense (DEF): Reduces incoming dmg.

Speed (SPD): Turn order.

Charisma (CHA): Diplomacy & Team Synergy triggers.

Wisdom (WIS): Tiebreak SPD and coin-flip advantage (flip 2 coins if WIS>foe’s).

Damage & Minimum 1 Rule

Basic Attack: (POW – foe’s DEF). If ≤0, do 1 dmg instead.

Moves: If final result is ≤0, also do 1 dmg.

Result: No more 0-damage hits—everyone can chip away at high-DEF foes.

4. Turn Structure

If Stunned: You skip this turn; Stun Immunity is in effect once you recover.

Active Player: Chooses exactly 1 action—

Regular Move (one of 3),

Special Move (once per game),

Basic Attack (POW – DEF, min 1 dmg).

Resolve: If a coin flip is required and WIS>foe’s, flip 2 coins, pick result. Apply damage/status.

Next Player: Proceed in SPD order.

5. Status Effects (Key)

Stun: Skip next turn. Then you have Stun Immunity for that entire turn you come back, preventing chain-stuns.

Poison/Tagged: –2 HP for next 3 turns (ignores DEF).

Weakened: –2 POW for 2 turns.

Evasive/Invisible: 50% dodge or untargetable until effect ends.

6. Wisdom & Charisma Meta-Rules

6.1 Wisdom

Speed Tie: Higher WIS goes first.

Coin-Flip Advantage: If attacker’s WIS>defender’s, attacker flips 2 coins instead of 1.

6.2 Charisma

Each player has once-per-game usage:

Diplomacy

Trigger: A foe with lower CHA tries to attack you.

If your CHA is 1–2 higher, flip coin: Heads=foe must retarget, Tails=fail. If ≥3 higher, auto success.

Team Synergy (in team modes)

If your CHA≥2 above an ally’s, once per game you can give them advantage on a coin-based move or remove one negative effect from them pre-action.

7. Winning

FFA: Last character with HP>0.

Teams: Last team with survivors.

Tie: If multiple get KO’d simultaneously, either draw or do a sudden-death round.

Play Example

1v1: Mikey vs. Peoplemachine.

Mikey SPD 5 acts first; uses Mic Drop → deals 5 ignoring 2 DEF. If Peoplemachine’s WIS≥Mikey’s CHA, no stun, else Peoplemachine is stunned.

Next round, Peoplemachine recovers, has Stun Immunity that turn, guaranteeing at least one move.

If (POW – DEF) ≤0 on a basic attack, it still does 1 dmg.

“I’m running calculations and running out of patience.”

“You brought words to a gunfight. Adorable.”

“If wrestling taught me anything, it’s how to stage an epic comeback.”

“There’s a fungus among us… and it’s me.”

“They laughed at my Barrett Hand once—now I’m the one laughing.”

“Giving up isn’t in my vocabulary—seriously, I checked.”

“Rules? Those sound like suggestions to me!”

“My secret power is so secret even I’m not sure what it is.”

“I’m gonna take a wild guess: you ain’t got friends.”

“Probability suggests you’ll lose—but feel free to flip a coin anyway.”

“Whether I am a dream or a nightmare, is but a matter of perspective.”

“It’s not magic, it’s just extremely complicated science… okay fine, it’s magic.”

MIKEY & ME BATTLE CARDS – CHARACTER GUIDE

1. Peoplemachine

Moves

Laser Logic
- Effect: 5 damage ignoring Defense (no reductions). The foe’s next attack deals –2 damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great for cracking high-DEF targets.
  - The –2 damage debuff helps hamper a foe’s big strike next turn.
  - Use it on heavy-hitting enemies to defang them at critical moments.
Calculating Shield
- Effect: Gain +4 Defense until next turn; if you’re hit, the attacker takes 2 damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Excellent for punishing melee or repeated hits.
  - Combine with your high base DEF (8) to block most attacks (though minimum 1 damage still applies).
  - Time it when you expect multiple foes to target you in a free-for-all.
Human Touch
- Effect: Heal 5 HP (or get +5 temporary HP if you’re already at max).
- Usage Insights:
  - Vital for sustaining your tank style.
  - If you suspect a big incoming blow, top up HP or add a safety net of temp HP.
  - Pairs well with Calculating Shield to outlast foes.

Special – System Overload

Effect: 10 damage to one target + Stun them; you skip your next turn.
Usage Insights:
- Huge single-target nuke.
- Even though you skip your next turn, use it to decisively remove or hamper a key threat.
- Try to pick an enemy who can’t remove stun easily (like a weaker Wisdom or no synergy from allies).

2. Mikey

Moves

Mic Drop
- Effect: 5 damage, ignoring 2 DEF. If Mikey’s CHA > foe’s WIS, the foe is Stunned.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great if your CHA (7) is strictly higher than their WIS.
  - Repeated use can keep foes on edge, though Stun Immunity ensures no chain locks.
  - Good at punching through moderate DEF.
Side Quest
- Effect: Choose A) Heal 3 HP & Taunt one foe, or B) 3 damage & force that foe to target someone else next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Option A: Good if you want to draw an attack away from allies or top up your own HP.
  - Option B: Perfect for redirecting a lethal blow. Force a foe to pick off another threat.
  - Very flexible in free-for-all or team fights.
Nerd Rage
- Effect: +2 Power on your next attack (+3 if you get hit first).
- Usage Insights:
  - A reliable damage booster. If foes are likely to strike you, you get an even bigger buff.
  - Prepare a big follow-up (like Mic Drop with more damage).

Special – Be Seeing You!

Effect: Fully restore HP, Stun all others 1 turn, gain +3 to all stats for the rest of the match, then take 10 damage after your next turn.
Usage Insights:
- Possibly the biggest momentum swing.
- The 10 recoil damage is steep, but the full heal and universal stun let you set up a finishing blow.
- Best used when you can survive the recoil, or it sets you up for winning that round before recoil hits.

3. Guns Chris

Moves

Rapid Fire
- Effect: 3 damage each to up to two targets.
- Usage Insights:
  - Good for finishing off multiple low-HP foes.
  - Splitting damage can hamper synergy across an enemy team.
Armor-Piercing Round
- Effect: 6 damage, ignoring half the foe’s DEF.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great vs. high DEF.
  - Standard single-target approach to whittle down tanky foes like Peoplemachine or Hendren.
Covering Fire
- Effect: 4 damage; you become 50% Evasive until your next turn. If your CHA > foe’s, the foe’s next attack deals –2 damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Helps you survive after making a mid-range hit.
  - Good if you suspect you’ll be targeted next. The –2 damage is icing if you have higher Charisma.

Special – Guns Blazing

Effect: 4 damage to all foes, then you skip your next turn (reload).
Usage Insights:
- Good in free-for-all to soften multiple opponents.
- Skipping your next turn is risky—time it so others are already battered or can’t retaliate effectively.

4. Jeff

Moves

One-Two Punch
- Effect: 2 damage twice, each hits separately (apply foe’s DEF each time).
- Usage Insights:
  - Decent vs. moderate or low DEF, guaranteeing at least 1 damage each hit.
  - If foe’s DEF is high, each punch might do 1 damage from the min-damage rule.
Brace Up
- Effect: +2 DEF for you (and possibly one ally) till your next turn; if attacked, you get +2 Power on your next attack.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great synergy in teams, buffing a squishy ally’s DEF.
  - If you draw attacks, you can retaliate with boosted POW next turn.
First Aid
- Effect: Heal 5 HP on yourself or ally.
- Usage Insights:
  - Straight healing—use to keep critical allies or yourself going.
  - Doesn’t have a limited usage, so you can keep the team afloat over multiple turns.

Special – Righteous Fury

Effect: 8 damage to one target; permanently +3 Defense for you.
Usage Insights:
- Solid single-target strike.
- Using it early ensures you benefit from the +3 DEF for more of the game.

5. Softmax

Moves

Punchline Strike
- Effect: Flip coin—Heads=6 damage, Tails=2.
- Usage Insights:
  - With WIS advantage, you have ~75% chance of landing 6 damage.
  - Great for repeated hits if you enjoy the gamble.
Cursed Broadcast
- Effect: 2 damage, foe becomes Weakened (–2 POW) for 2 turns and Speed=0 next round.
- Usage Insights:
  - Perfect for crippling a big attacker or messing with SPD-based combos.
  - Even if the 2 damage is small, you hamper them big time.
Audience Shield
- Effect: Become Evasive until next turn. If an attack targets you, flip coin—Heads=dodge & permanently +2 WIS, Tails=hit as normal.
- Usage Insights:
  - Potentially stack up WIS for stronger coin flips later.
  - Good if multiple foes might target you.

Special – Grand Finale Meltdown

Effect: For each foe, flip coin—Heads=Stun them; then you get +2 WIS permanently.
Usage Insights:
- Potentially huge board control if you get multiple heads, but also might flop.
- Even if only one or two foes are stunned, +2 WIS is a permanent buff for subsequent flips.

6. B. Jones

Moves

Spin Strike
- Effect: 5 damage; if your SPD > foe’s, they are Stunned.
- Usage Insights:
  - With SPD 7, you can out-speed many foes. Great for interrupting them, though Stun Immunity limits repeated locks.
  - Good in 1v1 vs slower foes.
Ring Dash Escape
- Effect: Invisible until next turn; remove one negative status from yourself.
- Usage Insights:
  - Perfect if you’re heavily targeted or suffering Poison/Weakened.
  - Return next turn unscathed for a big follow-up.
Bonus Stage
- Effect: Flip coin—Heads=Heal 5 HP or +2 to one stat (perm), Tails=take 3 damage & –2 SPD next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - High reward but risky. If you’re near full HP, consider going for +2 SPD or POW. If you’re low, heal up.
  - If you fail, you hamper yourself significantly.

Special – Chaos Boulder Rush

Effect: Each foe flips coin—on Tails they take 6 damage, on Heads they dodge. Then B. Jones gets +2 SPD permanently.
Usage Insights:
- Potential to devastate multiple foes. Even if some dodge, you permanently boost SPD, ensuring you maintain your speed advantage.

7. Billy (S.S.P.)

Moves

Reckless Solo
- Effect: 7 damage; Billy takes 2 self-damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Hard-hitting but shortens your own HP pool quickly.
  - Great for an early big strike to soften a foe—just mind your HP.
Headliner Rush
- Effect: 4 damage & Stun the foe; you lose –1 WIS next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Another stun tool, though the WIS penalty makes your subsequent coin flips weaker.
  - Use it when you desperately need to interrupt a foe.
Encore Rush
- Effect: Heal 3 HP, then +4 Speed & +4 Power for your next turn only.
- Usage Insights:
  - Tremendous buff, letting you almost certainly move first and hit extremely hard.
  - If you suspect you won’t be targeted next turn, this sets up a lethal blow.

Special – Tummy Baby Cascade

Effect: 10 damage to one target. If it KOs them, heal 5 HP. Otherwise, you take 2 self-damage and skip next turn.
Usage Insights:
- Ideal for finishing an already softened foe. That partial heal can offset your own self-damage.
- If it fails to KO, you skip your next turn, so it’s risky. Time it well.

8. G.

Moves

Bass Drop
- Effect: 5 damage (ign 2 DEF). If foe’s HP ≤5 after damage, they’re Stunned.
- Usage Insights:
  - Fantastic for finishing low-HP enemies.
  - If they survive with 5 or less, you stun them, possibly guaranteeing a follow-up kill.
Smoke Machine
- Effect: Evasive until your next turn; drain 2 HP from one foe (they lose 2 HP, you heal 2).
- Usage Insights:
  - Good defensive + sustain tool.
  - Helps offset your moderate HP, letting you survive mid-game bursts.
Breakbeat Breakdown
- Effect: 4 damage; foe’s DEF –2 next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Sets up an ally or yourself for a big follow-up.
  - Good synergy if you or an ally can exploit the lowered DEF next turn.

Special – Grand Finale

Effect: If foe HP ≤ 6, instantly KO them; else 6 damage, then you become Invisible until next turn.
Usage Insights:
- Perfect finishing move, or at least a strong hit with a vanish.
- Use it on heavily wounded foes for a guaranteed kill.

9. Crizzy

Moves

Reckless Tackle
- Effect: 6 damage; you take 3 self-damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Deals good damage quickly, but your HP is quite low, so repeated use can backfire.
  - Time it for crucial hits.
Headbutt
- Effect: 3 damage & Stun; you take 1 self-damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Another stun tool. Low damage, but with a guaranteed stun.
  - Combine with your high Speed (8) to keep foes off-balance, mindful you can’t chain-stun them if they just recovered.
Adrenaline Junkie
- Effect: Flip coin: Heads=Heal 5 HP, Tails=Lose 5 HP; either way, you get +2 Power on your next attack.
- Usage Insights:
  - Extremely swingy. If you’re behind, it can catapult you forward or bury you.
  - If you get the heal, that helps offset your self-damage moves.

Special – All or Nothing

Effect: Flip a coin: Heads=instantly KO target, Tails=KO yourself.
Usage Insights:
- The ultimate gamble. Use only if you’re desperate or confident you can’t otherwise win.
- Perfect if you’re behind and want a 50% shot at flipping the game.

10. Spore (Artist)

Moves

Sticker Bomb
- Effect: 1 damage; foe becomes Poisoned (–2 HP each of next 3 turns).
- Usage Insights:
  - Good at starting a ticking clock.
  - The 1 damage might become 1 from min damage anyway, but the real threat is the Poison.
Street Armor
- Effect: +4 DEF for 2 turns; any melee attacker takes 2 damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Combine with your base 6 DEF to block a lot of hits.
  - Good synergy with Poison-based play, letting you turtle while foes lose HP over time.
Collaborative Inspiration
- Effect: Heal 6 HP on yourself or an ally; also gives +1 DEF next turn and removes any Tagged status from them.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great in team mode to keep a big hitter alive.
  - Removes Poison from an ally if they somehow got Poisoned.

Special – Artistic Explosion

Effect: All foes become Poisoned (2 HP per turn for 3 turns), you heal 5 HP.
Usage Insights:
- Devastating in large free-for-alls or team fights, forcing multiple opponents to hemorrhage HP.
- Stack Street Armor to safely watch them tick down.

11. GoodLuckBuddah

Moves

Fortune’s Favor
- Effect: Flip coin—Heads=Heal 5 HP, Tails=grant target +5 DEF next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Both results can be beneficial (heal or buffing an ally’s DEF).
  - Great in a pinch: either you get direct help, or your ally gets defensive.
Karmic Shield
- Effect: Place a shield on self/ally. The next time they’re hit, the attacker takes equal damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Punishes big hits. If an enemy was about to deal 10, they eat 10 themselves.
  - Great for dissuading an enemy from focusing a weakened ally.
Blessing of Balance
- Effect: The higher HP player loses 3 HP, the lower HP one gains 3 HP (can’t kill anyone).
- Usage Insights:
  - Subtly equalizes the field. If you’re behind, you can gain HP. If you’re ahead, be cautious using it.
  - Perfect for team synergy if your ally is lower HP.

Special – Karmic Reset

Effect: Set one foe’s HP to your own HP; skip your next turn.
Usage Insights:
- Potentially cripples a high-HP opponent if your HP is lower, or can heal an ally if you let them match your higher HP.
- Skipping next turn is risky—use it for a major HP swing.

12. Boyko

Moves

Surreal Strike
- Effect: 4 damage, +2 if Boyko’s SPD > foe’s, for total 6.
- Usage Insights:
  - With SPD 8, you outrun most foes. This often does 6 damage, ignoring some or all of their DEF via min damage rule.
  - Good basic approach.
Reality Shift
- Effect: The first melee attack vs. you before your next turn deals 0, and that attacker takes 3 damage. Ends after 1 counter or next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Perfect if you suspect a big melee hit.
  - Encourages foes to avoid you or waste a ranged move.
Dimensional Sweep
- Effect: 3 damage each to up to two foes.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great for multi-target softening.
  - Combine with your high SPD to quickly poke multiple threats.

Special – Chaos Vortex

Effect: 3 damage to all foes ignoring DEF, then you can’t use Surreal Strike next turn.
Usage Insights:
- A big AOE, ignoring Defense so each target takes at least 3.
- Perfect in large free-for-all when many are near finishing range.

13. Zwillam

Moves

Arcane Blast
- Effect: 5 damage; if Zwillam’s WIS > foe’s, Stun them 1 turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - With WIS 9, you outmatch nearly everyone’s WIS. Guaranteed stuns if no Stun Immunity in effect.
  - Very strong if you time it once the foe’s immunity ends.
Blink
- Effect: Become Invisible until your next turn, remove all negative statuses.
- Usage Insights:
  - Great for avoiding being singled out or shrugging off Poison/Weakened.
  - If you’re low HP, blink away and come back fresh.
Empower Self
- Effect: +3 Power and +3 Defense for 2 turns.
- Usage Insights:
  - Turn yourself into a mini-tank, letting you do more damage while taking less.
  - Good before you do a big finishing Arcane Blast or basic attack.

Special – Time Stop

Effect: All other players skip their next turn; you can’t deal damage during that freeze.
Usage Insights:
- Essentially a free turn to buff yourself, reposition, or remove statuses.
- Best used if multiple foes are about to unleash big moves.

14. Hendren

Moves

Cane Strike
- Effect: 4 damage & Stun; you get +2 DEF till next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Good single-target stun plus a defense buff.
  - Great opener if you suspect a big retaliation. The foe recovers with immunity, but you might only need that one stun to shift momentum.
Rallying Shout
- Effect: All allies (including you) get +2 Power on their next attack, plus each heals 2 HP.
- Usage Insights:
  - Perfect in team mode for a group power spike.
  - If you’re in a free-for-all, it only affects you (since no allies). Still decent.
First Aid
- Effect: Heal 5 HP on self or ally; if target’s HP <10, they also get +1 to all stats for 1 turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Best used on a near-death ally or yourself to get that stat bonus.
  - Keep the team healthy and stable.

Special – Last Stand

Effect: For 2 turns, you cannot drop below 1 HP; heal 5 HP at the start of each turn in that mode.
Usage Insights:
- A mini “god mode.” Enemies might ignore you or waste hits.
- Use it if you’re about to die or want to tank hits while your allies do damage.

15. B-Man

Moves

Little Secret Weapon
- Effect: 4 damage, then flip coin—Heads=+2 dmg ignoring DEF, Tails=you take 1 damage.
- Usage Insights:
  - Solid mid-range move, boosted by WIS advantage for better odds on the +2 ignoring DEF.
  - If unlucky, you drain your own HP slightly.
Barrett Hand Grasp
- Effect: 5 damage (ign 2 DEF). If B-Man’s WIS>foe’s, foe’s SPD –2 next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Good chunk ignoring partial DEF, hamper a foe’s Speed so you or allies act first next round.
  - Great vs. SPD-based stunners like B. Jones or Billy.
Take My Hand
- Effect: Heal 5 HP or remove one negative status from yourself; you lose –1 SPD next turn.
- Usage Insights:
  - Useful for self-sustain or shrugging off Poison.
  - The SPD penalty is mild but means you might lose turn order priority next round. Use if you aren’t reliant on going first.

Special – B-Lieve It or Not

Effect: Flip coin (adv if WIS>foe). Heads=10 dmg ignoring DEF + Stun, Tails=6 dmg ignoring DEF & you take 3 self-dmg.
Usage Insights:
- A big finisher or serious burst.
- Even if you lose the flip, you still do 6 ignoring DEF, just hurting yourself.
- Great with WIS advantage for ~75% chance at the full 10 + stun.

How to Use This Manual

Identify your chosen character’s Stats & Moves.
Check usage insights for best synergy or risk management.
Remember:
- No chain-stuns (Stun Immunity).
- All hits do min 1 damage if net calc ≤ 0.
- Diplomacy & Team Synergy are once-per-game Charisma-based tools.
- Wisdom handles speed ties & coin-flip advantage.

Final Remarks

With this comprehensive manual, each character’s moves are fully explained alongside strategic insights. Embrace the comedic coin flips, short-term buffs, synergy in team modes, and watch out for unstoppable special moves. The Stun Immunity rule ensures fairness, while Min 1 Damage keeps fights dynamic.

Have fun exploring the cryptid conspiracies and comedic chaos of Mikey & Me Battle Cards—and may your clever synergy and well-timed stuns (with no locks!) guide you to victory.

MIKEY & ME BATTLE CARDS – CHARACTER GUIDE (condensed)

1. PEOPLEMACHINE

Design: 30-year-old, thin, square-jawed with bionic implants, dark thick mustache, shaggy dark hair, tan pug on shoulder.
Quote: “I’m running calculations and running out of patience.”
Stats: HP: 35 | POW: 8 | DEF: 8 | SPD: 3 | CHA: 2 | WIS: 7
Moves:

Laser Logic: 5 dmg (ignores DEF); target’s next atk –2 dmg.
Calculating Shield: +4 DEF till next turn; attackers take 2 dmg.
Human Touch: Heal 5 HP (or +5 temp if full).
Special – System Overload: 10 dmg & Stun foe; then skip your next turn.

2. MIKEY

Design: Tall with a blonde mullet, mustache extending down the chin, yellow shades, dark grey thin pug.
Quote: “Greetings Traveler.”
Stats: HP: 30 | POW: 6 | DEF: 5 | SPD: 5 | CHA: 7 | WIS: 6
Moves:

Mic Drop: 5 dmg (ignores 2 DEF); if CHA > foe’s WIS, Stun.
Side Quest: (A) Heal 3 HP & Taunt OR (B) 3 dmg & force foe to target someone else.
Nerd Rage: +2 POW next atk (+3 if hit first).
Special – Be Seeing You!: Full HP restore; all foes Stunned 1 turn; +3 all stats; take 10 dmg after your next turn.

3. GUNS CHRIS

Design: Shaved head, very long thick goatee, serious face.
Quote: “You brought words to a gunfight. Adorable.”
Stats: HP: 25 | POW: 9 | DEF: 3 | SPD: 6 | CHA: 4 | WIS: 4
Moves:

Rapid Fire: 3 dmg each to up to 2 foes.
Armor-Piercing Round: 6 dmg, ignores half DEF (round down).
Covering Fire: 4 dmg; Evasive (50% dodge) till next turn; if CHA > foe’s, foe’s next atk –2 dmg.
Special – Guns Blazing: 4 dmg all foes; skip next turn (reload).

4. JEFF

Design: Thin Caucasian, friendly smirk.
Quote: “If wrestling taught me anything, it’s how to stage an epic comeback.”
Stats: HP: 28 | POW: 5 | DEF: 5 | SPD: 5 | CHA: 5 | WIS: 7
Moves:

One-Two Punch: 2 dmg twice (each reduced by foe’s DEF).
Brace Up: +2 DEF (self/ally) till next turn; if attacked, +2 POW next atk.
First Aid: Heal 5 HP (self/ally).
Special – Righteous Fury: 8 dmg; +3 DEF permanently.

5. SOFTMAX

Design: Clown with white face paint, buzzcut, grey suit & tie, black vertical tear lines under eyes.
Quote: “Probability suggests you’ll lose—but feel free to flip a coin anyway.”
Stats: HP: 24 | POW: 4 | DEF: 4 | SPD: 6 | CHA: 6 | WIS: 8
Moves:

Punchline Strike: Flip coin: Heads=6 dmg, Tails=2 dmg.
Cursed Broadcast: 2 dmg; foe Weakened (–2 POW, 2 turns) & Slowed (SPD=0 next round).
Audience Shield: Evasive till next turn; if targeted, flip coin: Heads=dodge +2 WIS (max +4/use), Tails=hit normally.
Special – Grand Finale Meltdown: For each foe, flip coin: Heads=Stun foe; then +2 WIS perm.

6. B. JONES

Design: X-Men cartoon style African American, long dreads, beard, bulky, Sega CD in background.
Quote: “I’m gonna take a wild guess: you ain’t got no friends.”
Stats: HP: 27 | POW: 7 | DEF: 4 | SPD: 7 | CHA: 5 | WIS: 5
Moves:

Spin Strike: 5 dmg; if SPD>foe’s, Stun foe.
Ring Dash Escape: Invisible till next turn; remove 1 negative status.
Bonus Stage: Flip coin: Heads=Heal 5 HP OR +2 to one stat perm; Tails=3 dmg to self & –2 SPD next turn.
Special – Chaos Boulder Rush: Each foe flips coin: Tails=6 dmg (DEF applies), Heads=dodge; then you +2 SPD perm.

7. BILLY (S.S.P.)

Design: 40 y/o Caucasian, clean full beard, long dark/greying hair, unsettling smile, guitar on back.
Quote: “My secret power is so secret even I’m not sure what it is.”
Stats: HP: 26 | POW: 9 | DEF: 2 | SPD: 6 | CHA: 4 | WIS: 3
Moves:

Reckless Solo: 7 dmg; take 2 self-dmg.
Headliner Rush: 4 dmg, Stun foe; you lose –1 WIS next turn.
Encore Rush: Heal 3 HP; +4 SPD & +4 POW next turn.
Special – Tummy Baby Cascade: 10 dmg; if KO, heal 5 HP; otherwise, take 2 self-dmg & skip next turn.

8. G.

Design: 30 y/o Hispanic, tough guy, loves all music.
Quote: “I don’t pick fights—I end them.”
Stats: HP: 25 | POW: 6 | DEF: 4 | SPD: 7 | CHA: 8 | WIS: 5
Moves:

Bass Drop: 5 dmg (ign 2 DEF). If foe HP ≤5 after dmg, Stun.
Smoke Machine: Evasive till next turn; drain 2 HP from one foe (foe –2 HP, you +2 HP).
Breakbeat Breakdown: 4 dmg; foe’s DEF –2 till next turn.
Special – Grand Finale: If foe HP ≤6, KO them; else 6 dmg (apply DEF); become Invisible till next turn.

9. CRIZZY

Design: 30 y/o big, brawny, bald guy with glasses, “intelligent” beard.
Quote: “Rules? Those sound like suggestions to me!”
Stats: HP: 22 | POW: 7 | DEF: 3 | SPD: 8 | CHA: 6 | WIS: 2
Moves:

Reckless Tackle: 6 dmg; you take 3 self-dmg.
Headbutt: 3 dmg & Stun; you take 1 self-dmg.
Adrenaline Junkie: Flip coin: Heads=Heal 5 HP, Tails=Lose 5 HP; either grants +2 POW next atk.
Special – All or Nothing: Flip coin: Heads=KO foe; Tails=KO yourself.

10. SPORE

Design: Animated egg-like figure, large bushy mustache, half-lidded eyes, small tilted golden crown.
Quote: “There’s a fungus among us… and it’s me.”
Stats: HP: 28 | POW: 5 | DEF: 6 | SPD: 3 | CHA: 3 | WIS: 8
Moves:

Sticker Bomb: 1 dmg; foe Tagged (Poison 2 dmg/turn x3 turns).
Street Armor: +4 DEF (2 turns); melee attackers take 2 dmg.
Collaborative Inspiration: Heal self/ally 6 HP; target +1 DEF next turn & removes Tagged.
Special – Artistic Explosion: All foes Tagged (Poison 2 dmg/turn x3 turns); heal 5 HP.

11. GOODLUCKBUDDHA

Design: Fusion of a Buddha statue with Homer Simpson.
Quote: “Karma’s great until it hits you back.”
Stats: HP: 26 | POW: 4 | DEF: 5 | SPD: 4 | CHA: 8 | WIS: 7
Moves:

Fortune’s Favor: Flip coin: Heads=Heal 5 HP; Tails=grant target +5 DEF next turn.
Karmic Shield: Shield self/ally; next time they’re hit, attacker takes equal dmg.
Blessing of Balance: Higher HP –3, lower HP +3 (cannot KO).
Special – Karmic Reset: Set target HP = yours; skip next turn.

12. BOYKO

Design: Surreal, abstract humanoid with no distinguishing features.
Quote: “I’d say ‘stay down,’ but where’s the fun in that?”
Stats: HP: 25 | POW: 6 | DEF: 5 | SPD: 8 | CHA: 5 | WIS: 5
Moves:

Surreal Strike: 4 dmg; if SPD>foe’s, +2 bonus dmg (6 total).
Reality Shift: Until next turn, first melee atk vs you = 0 dmg & attacker takes 3 dmg (ends after 1 counter).
Dimensional Sweep: 3 dmg each to up to 2 foes.
Special – Chaos Vortex: 3 dmg all foes (ign DEF); you can’t use Surreal Strike next turn.

13. ZWILLAM

Design: Unassuming, clean-cut blonde in a polo shirt covered in blood.
Quote: “It’s not magic, it’s just extremely complicated science… okay fine, it’s magic.”
Stats: HP: 24 | POW: 5 | DEF: 4 | SPD: 5 | CHA: 6 | WIS: 9
Moves:

Arcane Blast: 5 dmg; if your WIS>foe’s, Stun foe 1 turn.
Blink: Invisible till next turn; remove all negative statuses.
Empower Self: +3 POW & +3 DEF for 2 turns.
Special – Time Stop: All foes skip next turn; you can’t deal dmg this round.

14. HENDREN

Design: Calm, mole on cheek, derby hat, anime-inspired features.
Quote: “Giving up isn’t in my vocabulary—seriously, I checked.”
Stats: HP: 32 | POW: 6 | DEF: 7 | SPD: 4 | CHA: 6 | WIS: 7
Moves:

Cane Strike: 4 dmg & Stun; +2 DEF till next turn.
Rallying Shout: All allies +2 POW next atk & heal 2 HP.
First Aid: Heal 5 HP (self/ally); if HP<10, +1 all stats (1 turn).
Special – Last Stand: 2 turns can’t drop below 1 HP; heal 5 HP each turn start.

15. B-MAN

Design: Laid-back, comedic operative with a mechanical gauntlet (the “amazing Barrett hand”). Teased for his “Little Secret Weapon,” he now wields it proudly.
Quote: “They laughed at my Barrett Hand once—now I’m the one laughing.”
Stats: HP: 26 | POW: 5 | DEF: 5 | SPD: 6 | CHA: 7 | WIS: 7
Moves:

Little Secret Weapon: 4 dmg; flip coin: Heads=+2 dmg (ign DEF), Tails=you take 1 dmg.
Barrett Hand Grasp: 5 dmg (ign 2 DEF). If WIS>foe’s, foe’s SPD –2 next turn.
Take My Hand: Heal 5 HP or remove 1 status from yourself; –1 SPD next turn.
Special – B-Lieve It or Not: Flip coin: Heads = 10 dmg (ign DEF) + Stun foe; Tails = 6 dmg (ign DEF), you take 3 dmg.